i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's the barista slut.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
