I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
