so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
