Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will be naked everywhere
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
