We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
