...so i touched it.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
