so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
