Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
