Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
