is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
