Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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