Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
