she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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