brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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