cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
