i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
