dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
