yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
