make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
