Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
