I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
