I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
