I feel great
I just peed on a car
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
