careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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