all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
