soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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