Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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