I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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