So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
