that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
