Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
