you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
