I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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