the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
