I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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