O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
