OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
