I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
