the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to make out with him forever
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
