i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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