"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize