You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
