Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize