Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
