it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
