HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
