Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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