she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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