Acid is not a monday night drug
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
ttyl tear gas
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
