Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
